Mistakes I could have avoided and lessons that could have learned sooner (from a 27-year-old)

Trusting the wrong people

I guess you never know when your friendship is real and your friend loyal and honest with you until she or he disappoints you and hurts your feelings. I know disappointments and hurt can go away one day (or not), you can talk this through, forgive and move on and be friends again. But not if she or he does not show any kind of remorse or just for a second until you take them back into your heart and then she or he continues to be the same dig again. I trusted someone who was very close to me for many years until one day she misused my trust and lied to me. We did talk and of course she apologised and I did not want to loose her in my life so I forgave her. Only to get hurt again. This was the moment when I realised it had been this way the entire time I only had not known or to be honest did not want this to be true and accept the fact that she was never a loyal and honest friend to me in the first place. This realisation is not play the blame game here but rather a tipping point for me when I realised: the people you do life with can make or break you. You give them this power. And you have the power to decide whom you want to give this power to in your life. A lesson I wished I learned sooner.

Loosing time in your career/ education

Time is valuable. You learn this in kindergarden. If you are late you do not get the seat, you do not get in, you miss out. Something that can be so minor in kindergarden can sometimes cost you your interview, your promotion or your dream house later. I lost time in my life. I did not set my priorities straight, I found excuses not work and do the things I needed to do. Few years later I found myself in the same place and making accusations to myself why I did not follow up with what I had to do. Being at the same place few years later sucks! Trust me. While everyone else moves on in their life, gets their promotion, pays their first mortgage for their dream house, you feel kinda isolated from the rest of the world. You feel stuck in your own little world. The excuses you make will not buy your more time or set the time back. Comparing will not change anything. You have to be your own cheerleader. You need to take things into your own hands. You only are responsible for your decision. Blaming will not solve how you feel years later. Stop looking around, stick to your plan, stick to your goals, stick to whatever you desire to be, to accomplish and do it! Do not waste your time. Time is valuable, it will not come back for you. You will thank me later.

Being indecisive

This is another bad trait of mine. I do not know whom to thank for. My mum is not like that, neither is my dad. But it found me. I am indecisive all the time. When I go to the restaurant, everyone had ordered and I am still reading the menu. If I get to choose between two things, I am dependant on other peoples opinion and mostly I am not content which the decision taken afterwards. This has let to many wrong decisions in my life! I know that not all the decisions you make will turn out to be the right one. But let me tell you, if you do not make your own decision, others will make them for you and it will not be always pretty! In my case, I then realise what I really want but it is not for me to decide anymore and I lose out. I do not want you to lose out in your life! Nobody wants, right? Take your chances, if you do not know now, do not wait too long. This will cost you something. Most of the time you cannot get it back and this will follow up with you and make you to be more unsure next time. Do not let this happen in your life. You want to live your life to the fullest and enjoy every bit of it along your journey. Make your own decision. You will have more freedom in your life, more space about the things you decided to do. You only will own it and eventually that will make you happier.

First blog post – a letter from a big sister

Hi guys, today I want to introduce you to my little sister. She lost her dad at the tender age of nine. Its like she never knew her dad at all. Today she graduated from school.

Life wasn’t easy for her though. As a black girl growing up without a father, daily opposed to classmates whose parents where mostly high earning doctors, engineers and whatever, having only a mum who makes her living by cleaning these peoples houses was never something she would have chosen if she ever had the opportunity to do so. Having to live in these deprived circumstances she however never let her hair down or took life as an excuse for something less. She rather chose the uneasy path.

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Lydia with our daddy ♥

She proved that whatever circumstances or what burden life has put you in you can make the best out of it if you are willing to fight for your own happiness. That’s why she stands here today and can call herself a hero – I would admit. As her big and only sister when I look back, I cannot say of myself that I was nice to her all the time, neither can I say I supported her in every thing and or that I was always there for her when she needed me most. We never had the relationship sisters are suppose to have (But what is that?!). We really got to know each other the past two years and became good friends since. 

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Lydia & Me ♥

From my own experience as well as seeing my sister succeeding in her studies so gracefully, all I can say today is: boys and girls out there, please let nothing or anyone keep you away from your studies. Education is the key for your life. This key opens doors you never knew existed in the first place. This key determines one day who you are, what you are capable of and what you stand for. Its a fortune beyond a value. I know myself studying isn’t easy especially when you study hard and it doesn’t turn out the way you expected it to be or issues are bothering you or you are living in circumstances worse than this (But that is a topic for another time!). Whatever it is, never let go of education.

Lydia, I wasn’t a good sister to you. I am very sorry for not being the sister you may have wished to have. Nonetheless, I want you to know that I am very proud of you. The young independent strong woman you have become amazes me!!!  I wish you happiness, health and all the blessings of this world. I love youuuuuuuu <33333